Friday, March 6, 2009

Answering the call of Borneo's open roads

As appeared in Hobbies
The Brunei Times - May 25, 2007


LONG straights, tight corners, the joy and freedom of the open road -- it's the dream of any rider on two wheels, and Brunei's hobbyist bikers are no exception. When the chance for a long, rip-roaring ride comes, the weekend motorcyclists get all geared up to go, and there's no bigger highlight for their year than the journey to Pontianak on the northwestern tip of Indonesia's Kalimantan.

The trip, which will in all cover 10 days and some 3,500km, takes them along the island's highways and byways to the Borneo Island International Big Bike Festival (BIIBBF).

As members of the Darussalam Motorcycle Association (Pemoda) gathered in Jerudong on Tuesday for the flagoff, there was a mixture of excitement and concern, a meld of impatience to push off on their adventure and calm checks to make sure everything was in place for a safe journey.

Pemoda Treasurer Ahmad Shariffudin Taib said it most succinctly when he emphasised that safety was the group's biggest worry. "This is our paramount concern, as we want to ensure a good trip not only in terms of sights and sounds but all the members getting there and back safely," he said.

The 27-year-old banker, who rides a Honda GoldWing touring bike, said preparations for the trip were made months in advance, including arranging for an escort vehicle complete with the required flashing lights and several back-up vehicles. "The back-up vehicles carry our luggage, emergency fuel and spare riders," he said, adding that the fuel was in case bikes, which had much smaller tanks compared to cars, found themselves stranded dry in between petrol stops.

"As for the spare riders, we have at least two in case our bikers fall ill or get too tired. If the riders tire, we would rather they stop than push on trying to meet a deadline and get careless." Such dedication to safety is nothing to be sneezed at, as according to Ahmad Shariffudin, Pemoda had a good record, with only minor incidents, on its past trips.

Rider fitness is another facet of safety and the participants had trained up in the past months by taking long rides around the sultanate. "Our golden principle is that you control your bike, don't let the bike control you.

"So the riders need to be aware of their own physical and mental limitations, how much speed and power their bodies can take," he said, adding that the trip to Pontianak, which meant some 10 hours on the road at times, took riders out of their comfort zones.

Pg Ariffin Pg Said, 47, agreed with the assessment, saying that he had been riding every weekend in the past three months to get himself fit as well as to familiarise himself with the Yamaha V-Star Classic touring bike he bought last November. "I took a ride to Bintulu once, and joined a three-day trip to Sibu in February," the TelBru staff said. "But for this trip, I knew I had to be fit, so I went on three-hour rides for practice."

Aside from keeping the bikes in good condition, breaking in a new machine is a must for a long ride, one which an owner of a sports bike did in the two weeks between buying the bike and setting off. Idzam Norhaidi Mashud said he rode his new 1,000cc Kawasaki ZX10-R hard to make it on the trip, which he would not have missed for the world.

One of the founders of Pemoda, the 30-year-old civil servant has been to six of the past seven Borneo bike festivals and is considered by the other riders as the daigo (old hand) of long distance rides. On what makes such a hard ride so pleasurable, Idzam said the bike fest was "a gathering of old friends, a reunion for the motorcycle brotherhood that feels more like a family".

The undeniable appeal for most, though, is the almost endless length of tarmac in front of their wheels. Teacher Mazran Mohd Jamin, 29, who rides a Suzuki GSX-R1000, said he had only been to Kota Kinabalu and Miri previously and was looking forward to hitting the roads."Of course I'm looking forward to the corners, as any sports biker would, but most of all, I want to experience Borneo. "I want to know the road conditions, the people, culture and way of life," Mazran said.

Pg Ariffin added that travelling on bike was completely different from a car journey. "I've been to Pontianak by car, and this will be different," he said of the straights and the meandering curves which tourers love. "On a bike, you can see more things and it will be really nice to take in the largely unspoilt environment and pass the many longhouses and villages along the Interior roads. "When we pass the villages, we get greeted by children, who wave and cheer us on, and that just lifts our spirits."

As the open road beckoned, Idzam added that one day, he hoped he could take a ride around the whole of Borneo island. "Currently we can only go as far as Pontianak, as there is no paved road from there to Banjarmasin.

"I'd love to go on further, all the way to Balikpapan, that would be a great trip," he concluded as the riders suited up, donning their leathers and helmets for the ride of their dreams.

And as the bikers roared past my photo vantage point just beyond Jerudong, I couldn't help wishing I was going along for the ride.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

It takes 12 to tango across north Sabah

As appeared in Focus
The Brunei Times - April 3, 2008


DIPPING and swaying, though to no discernible tune, 12 four-wheel-drive Toyotas are inching their way across a particularly rough section of road. "Road" is a generous word to describe this bit of track in Sabah once paved with asphalt but recently ravaged by a landslide. Falling mud had probably taken the top layer of tarmac, and the constant traffic, including timber- and produce-laden lorries, have worn deep grooves in the gravel-covered soil. The result is a wild, bucking ride in the mountains between Keningau and Ranau, something no one really expected as they set out from Tutong, Brunei, that morning.















The expedition -- organised by the Gemilang Association and sponsored by NBT -- is a test of endurance of driver and car, I am told. OK, I think to myself, that means it's a long but generally uninteresting journey, punctuated by endless waiting at each border crossing from Brunei to Sarawak, back into Brunei, again into Sarawak and finally into Sabah. Not to mention the two ferry crossings, plus the fact that it is the school holidays. I'm not driving anyway, nor navigating; so I'll just sit in the back of this Toyota Hilux next to the mound of luggage that can't be placed in the pickup bed in case of rain.

We are car T3, third in the convoy of 12, my pilot a military man and his second-in-command the official expedition photographer. As soon as we hit the Sabah hinterlands, though, my quiet reveries are taken over by trying to anticipate the dip and roll of the car and hanging on to the grab handle for dear life.

Tango Partners
The four-day trip beginning on March 21 started out pretty well, really, being flagged off by the acting Tutong district officer at 8am and picking up a Limau Manis police escort to Kuala Lurah for group passport stamping.

The joint aim of fulfilling Gemilang Association's three core interests of 4x4 driving, amateur radio and photography began immediately -- we were rolling along, snapping pictures and trading banter on the radio.

I learnt that the cars were labelled T1 to T12 for Toyota, and T in radio lingo is Tango. We were Tango Three, then, one of four Toyota Hilux pickup trucks accompanying six Land Cruisers, a Prado and a Fortuner, our Tango partners.

The papers were dealt with reasonably quickly at each of the border posts, thanks to our "Immigration officer" who went ahead to clear the documentation needs. And the wait for the ferries weren't as long as we had feared. We made it in good time to Limbang, crossing into Sabah at about 1.30pm with delays only due to some road works.

Hills and Valleys
Onwards we went, led by Gemilang 4x4 chairman Abd Ashunah DLR Hj Md Jair in Tango One, taking the turn just before the town of Sipitang towards the mountains, and the former logging trails that connect the small towns serving the once-thriving industry, towards Sandakan, our destination for the first day.

These roads were paved to provide access to residents now needing a livelihood other than logging, as the jungles are cleared beyond sustainability, but there's no holding back mother nature when she's mad. There were too many instances to count where half the road had fallen into the gully, warning cones and yellow tape the only things keeping more than pebbles from following it over the edge.

It was rough and slow going, and we made it into Keningau, a former logging town quietly going to ruin, by about 4pm.

Fallen Comrade
The Tangos were doing well, aside from a broken radiator hose of Tango 11, the oldest car in the convoy, which had been dealt with before we left Limbang. We were on a roll, so we thought. Then between Keningau and Ranau, which reached an elevation of some 1,000m, the roads spilled up more of its guts, and as the sun quickly set beyond the mountains, we were at times reduced to a crawl hills on one side, ravines on the other, and darkness broken only by headlights.

Then the huge ruts in the road. And Tango 11 broke, first running out of clutch oil, then suffering broken absorbers. We had lost a Tango partner as T11's owner, Ya'akub Hj Kifli, decided the car could not venture further and would stop in Ranau for repairs.

The remaining Toyotas were a bit subdued as we left Ranau for Sandakan, wondering if one of the selling point of Toyotas -- easily available parts -- would prove the magic bullet that would bring Tango 11 back into the fold. We reached Sandakan at 1.30am after 17 hours on the road. We had proven our endurance so far, marking up some 1,000 kilometres, but we had three days to go, and Kudat and Kota Kinabalu to reach.

March 22 dawned bright, and as we left Sandakan, with a short stop at the Orangutan Rehabilitation Centre in Sepilok, our radio banter resumed the cheer with which we started our journey, interspersed with concern for Tango 11. They needed spare parts from Kota Kinabalu, and would not be taking their place in the convoy to Kudat.

Tip of Borneo
The roads were slightly better along the more civilised areas into Kundasang, aside from the mist and rain as we drove in the shadow of Mount Kinabalu, and on towards Kota Belud and Kudat. Reaching Sabah's northern-most town at about 8pm, we were heartened by the news that Tango 11 had recovered, and was winging its way to rejoin the convoy.

It gave most of the participants cause for joy, more than the delicious seafood which we found by the seafront, and by midnight, the old Land Cruiser with a heart that never wants to give up, had reached the northern shores.

The next morning the group's avid shutterbugs took to the roads before dawn to catch the sunrise at the Tip of Borneo, a breathtaking display of colours as the sun slowly peeked over the horizon. From the inky black night came the dark violet hues, which lightened into purples and blues, brightening into pinks and oranges that you'd never really be able to capture in paints or oils.

It was an amazing moment if you think of the aeons of time that has passed from the dawn of all sunrises, to that moment we stood there, in the glory of a new day, the rays of golden sunlight washing over us.

Some felt that way, but some, like my Tango Three pilot, was itching at the bit to be able to catch the breeze under his glider, a paramotor at his back, lifting off into the blue of the sky to fly around the Tip of Borneo. He will, he kept saying, as the call of the land at the tip of this island he calls home is too strong to ignore. That was for another day, but it was a promise.

Later that morning the whole convoy, Tango 11 included, drove to the Tip for a photo op of course, it was too good to miss before setting off for the final leg of the journey to Kota Kinabalu, the state capital.

Too Soon it Ends
All was well in the third day's journey, reaching Kota Kinabalu before 3pm, time enough for rest before dinner at a seafood restaurant with a VIP guest, Tengku Datuk Zainal Adlin, the chairman of Sabah Tourism.

The fourth day, however, was almost heartbreaking, as the participants dropped by a shelter for children who are abandoned or under protective custody, for a visit and to offer a donation, before dancing their last steps of the expedition.

It's too soon to end, some kept saying. I wish we were not going back just yet, others opined. But it was the last tango, all 12 cars making it safely back across the final border into Brunei just before the cut-off time of 10pm.

Though most had said their goodbyes in messages relayed by radio, the 12 cars made a final stop just before we went our separate ways. The expedition leaders, Abd Ashunah as well as second commander Hj Ayub Hj Suhaili in Tango Seven, who had kept an eye on the string of six cars in the rear of the convoy, were given a big round of applause for ensuring the success of the event.
Minor gripes were forgiven and forgotten, the final jokes were traded, contact numbers exchanged between initial strangers who had now become friends. We had endured, the participants said, the rough going and the long hours, pushing sleepiness and exhaustion aside thanks to the never-ending prattle of the amateur radio enthusiasts whose silken voices had kept us amused.

Our cars had endured too, they proudly proclaimed, the almost 2,000km of roads that threw up many surprises.

And as we parted, we cherished the experience that we had been through, and saying farewell to our partners, wondered if we would ever meet to tango again.

Part 2 in a series following a 4x4 adventure from Brunei to Sabah and back again. The Little Devil found it "Gemilang" indeed.

Grounded knowledge for better 4x4 ride

As appeared in Motoring
The Brunei Times – April 2, 2008


A TWENTY per cent increase when it comes to a paycheck would be welcomed by anyone. But why do people ignore a 20% increase in performance when it comes to a four-wheel-drive vehicle?

Many Bruneian drivers who buy 4x4 vehicles, specifically those with offroad capabilities, do not know how to extract that extra percentage of usefulness, says NBT General Sales Manager Hj Shahrum Hj Kadir. Especially when, he says, such 4x4 knowledge is essential not only in offroad situations but also when facing rough conditions on your everyday drive.

"Even if you think you'll never experience rough terrain, knowledge about how to utilise your vehicle in challenging circumstances means you'll be better off than people in other cars," Hj Shahrum says. And does challenging circumstances mean only those things you hear about -- deep in the jungle rivers to ford, rutted tracks on which only bullocks feel comfortable and mud holes deep enough to sink a battleship?

On the contrary, road conditions which seem mildly "interesting" to normal cars, such as puddles, uneven surfaces and slick stretches, present a greater risk to 4x4 vehicles because of their weight, higher centre of gravity and reduced manoeuvrability. And lack of knowledge about how to use the 4x4 features to overcome these weaknesses may contribute to accidents involving these big offroaders.

"That's why NBT offers Toyota customers the chance to take a free course in 4x4 driving, which we hold twice a year," Hj Shahrum says. The course, managed by the Tutong-based Gemilang Association, teaches drivers the basic applications of their 4x4 offroaders.

Why bother? I took my driving test, I know how to change gears and go up hills. It's not that simple, explains Gemilang 4x4 chairman Abd Ahsunah DLR Hj Md Jair. Look at the gear element of a modern manual 4x4 vehicle and you'll see, aside from the five gears, the option of H2, H4 and L4 settings. That gives you a total of 15 gear ratios to play with.

Um, and why do I need all these gears? Abd Ahsunah says the settings are geared to different road conditions, the speed at which the vehicle is travelling and the number of wheels under the driver's control. The H setting is for high speeds, with 2- or 4-wheel options while the L setting is for low speeds and all four wheels under power.

The Muara-Tutong Highway, eastbound between Tutong and Jerudong, is one example of normal roads that are treacherous when wet, Abd Ahsunah says. "The guardrails on the left are dented where cars skid off because of puddles," he says of rear-wheel-drive vehicles, especially. "When the car hits standing water on the left, the front left tyre aquaplanes while the car is still being propelled forward, and the vehicles veers to the left. To avoid this, you engage the H4, thus giving traction to all four wheels."

And the lower gear ratio, L4, is good for descending hills to reduce wear and tear on brakes, which face greater pressure because of the weight of offroad vehicles. "You will often see, or smell, burnt brakes in vehicles descending steep gradients because they apply their brakes all the time. Putting the car in a low gear setting with four wheels maintaining traction is the best bet to avoid accidents going downhill."

Knowing which gears to set to ascend hills is also beneficial when you're driving a manual as opposed to an automatic car. "An automatic car maintains traction at all times," Abd Ahsunah says, even when you don't realise it.

"In manual cars, there is that instant -- a long one for those without experience -- when you press the clutch to change gears, that everything is disengaged. No traction, no torque, and your car may start sliding out of control. Knowing which gear to use for certain gradients means a smooth uphill drive."

The course also includes conducting pre-departure checks, vehicle recovery, travelling in convoy, making minor repairs and changing tyres, the last sounding easy peasy but may be a concern as a tyre on an offroader is huge and heavy. "There is a method to changing a 4x4 tyre that makes it easy. Even a petite woman can change a tyre on an offroader this way," Abd Ahsunah says.

And has the instruction been beneficial? Yes, say 4x4 drivers who participated in last month's 2008 Gemilang Sabah Expedition which took in some hinterland roads that were logging tracks cut into hillsides.

Driver Ahmad Salleh Mohd, who bought a Toyota Hilux two years ago to carry his paramotor equipment, says he used to drive his pickup truck like a normal saloon car. "I didn't dare touch any of the gear settings, I went down hills using brakes all the way, and just splashed through puddles without a thought."

He says going through the 4x4 course in February was an eye-opener. The result, Ahmad Salleh says, is increased confidence on the road, especially since the four-day Sabah expedition to Sandakan, Kudat and Kota Kinabalu threw at the drivers unexpected road surfaces rutted tracks, mud and loose rocks and hills with the added challenge of slippery surfaces, especially around misty and rainy Kundasang.

"We utilised our newly gained knowledge to manage the rough terrain, traverse the mountainous roads with regard for our brakes and travel safely, especially observing the rules of convoy, for example in maintaining a safe distance between cars."

The other advantage of such courses, he says, is that "we are now more aware of dangers on the road, in relation to our cars, specifically, and how to utilise the capability of the car to overcome these obstacles".

This article was in conjunction with Gemilang's 4x4 adventure from Brunei to Sabah, on which they took along the Little Devil.

Sights and sounds of their best pursuits

As appeared in Hobbies
The Brunei Times – April 4, 2008


THE radio set crackles with static, then a voice says: "To all Tangos, this is Tango One. YL on the left, wearing a pink shirt and white skirt." As the 11 cars which follow in the wake of the lead vehicle passes the spot, everyone looks at the YL; "young lady" in amateur radio speak.

Ostensibly to offer directions and ensure the convoy is going in the right direction – anyone who does not see the YL is bound to be lost – the tone of the chatter among the 12 cars linked by radio is light rather than serious, humorous more than not and a great uplifter for those with flagging spirits.

There have been endless hours on the road in the expedition across north Sabah organised by the Tutong-based Gemilang Association. The participants are exhausted powering their 4x4 Toyota offroaders around corners and up and down hills and keeping eyes trained on the road because of the uneven and at times dangerous terrain.

The radio conversation keeps the drivers entertained, and more importantly, informed. "Broken down lorry on the left taking up half the road. Be aware of oncoming vehicles," reports the lead Land Cruiser, call sign T1 (for Toyota) and pronounced Tango One.

"Landslide on the right, keep to your left." Such information is invaluable as the mountainous roads from Sipitang to Sandakan prove full of pitfalls for the unwary, especially in the dark.

As I sit in the back of Tango Three listening to updates on road conditions and discussions about stopping to answer nature's call, I am reminded of my childhood in Malaysia. Travelling in convoy with aunts and uncles from Kuala Lumpur back to the kampung in Terengganu, the only way we could communicate between cars was to pull over by the roadside and hope to be noticed by the following vehicles. If we got separated, there was no way of knowing where the other cars were, or if anything had happened to them.

Loud and Clear
This is progress, and an extension of the hobby cultivated by Gemilang Radio members, who made up the participants on last month's expedition along with 4x4 enthusiasts and avid photographers. And when they're not on the road looking out for potholes, the amateur radio hobbyists also called "hams" from "ham radio" keep in touch with friends found on the airwaves.

Gemilang Radio member Siti Hasibah Yasmoon Hj Kamaluddin, who has been involved with amateur radio since 2000, says she was attracted to the hobby because it gave her the opportunity to get to know more people. And this came in handy when she travelled, as she had the opportunity to "eyeball" (meet) her contacts.

"When I was in Bangkok, I met several local hams. It was great because they could help me with info about the area where to stay, where to get halal food, where to get bargains," Siti Hasibah says. "It's information you can't really get otherwise."

And during the Sabah expedition, it was not only information that was gleaned from the contacts of Gemilang Radio secretary Hj Ayub Hj Suhaili and committee member Yakub Hj Abdul Rahman. Through their involvement with Sabah hams, some of whom use a repeater on Mount Kinabalu to re-transmit their signals as far as Kuala Belait, they managed to procure assistance when one of the cars in the convoy broke down and had to pit for repairs.

Hj Ayub, whose call sign is V8AQM (pronounced Victor 8 Alpha Quebec Mike), and Yakub (Victor 8 Alpha Yankee November) both have an advanced licence, allowing them to use shortwave bands with worldwide reach. (Victor 8 is the code for Brunei while the last three digits are individual identifiers, with the A signifying an advanced licence. The Tango call signs were temporary identifiers for the trip.)

Gemilang also runs classes for those interested in taking up the hobby, towards the end of passing the examination held by Brunei's Authority for Info-Communication Technology Industry.

Chasing the Dawn
Those who didn't need licences to operate – just a trigger-happy finger – were members of Gemilang Foto, who took every opportunity during the four-day expedition to Sandakan, Kudat and Kota Kinabalu to get everything in their cross-hairs and digitally documented. Hanging out windows and sunroofs, taking random shots of the scenery rushing past, the lensmen were the most active of the lot, jumping out of the cars at every stop to immortalise the journey in print. Though the long hours on the road and scant breaks meant less photo ops, their spirits were never daunted.

Romeo Edung, who was driving Tango Six, a 1985 Land Cruiser, says even though keeping his hands on the wheel meant less time with his two Nikon cameras, the journey afforded him the chance to have a look at Sabah's sights for a future snap-happy trip.

"I found Ranau and Keningau very interesting places with unique things to photograph, like the locals manning their fruit stalls. Now that I know where to go and how to get there, I'm planning a trip focusing on photography," he says.

And during the layover in Kudat, the photographers didn't let a 5am start dampen their enthusiasm for a stab at shooting the sunrise over the Tip of Borneo. Taking the gravelly roads at a quick trot, the participants could not help but look over their shoulders during the 40-minute ride to ensure the sun hadn't crept up on them unawares.

And it didn't. There was time for the setting up of tripods, fiddling with camera controls to pick the best aperture and speed, elbowing away others for the best vantage point. Even those who had woken late managed to arrive before the sun breached the horizon, although the driver of Tango Seven did perform a rally special stage, causing his passenger to exit the car a bit green.
It was worth it, though, as the sunrise was spectacular, and not something you could see everyday.

And so it was throughout the Gemilang expedition. Something new, something interesting, and something for every one of the amateur radio, 4x4 and photography hobbyists who took four days out of their lives for that something special.

Part 3 in a series on a 4x4 adventure from Brunei to Sabah. Thanks to Gemilang for inviting the Little Devil, known on the trip as "YL Tango 3", along for the ride.

Beauty miracles don't happen overnight

As appeared in Style
The Brunei Times - March 21, 2008

MAKEUP artists are wont to hear the helpless cry of "I've had a huge breakout" or "Help! My skin had an allergic reaction to my facial" accompanied by the doe-eyed look and pleading words: "Can you make me look beautiful?" This is especially important to a woman who has a special event lined up her wedding, for instance. Or a reunion with schoolmates she's never seen for 20 years but needs to impress (we've all been there).
Hoping for a miracle is a normal human experience but don't set expectations too high, especially if you have not put the work in, says lifestyle consultant Syahira Bahrain. "Miracles don't happen overnight," the 34-year-old former catwalk model and professional dancer says, "yet this is what most women expect."
Stressing that many women don't want to invest in themselves, Syahira says this makes the job of a makeup artist more difficult. "I've had to work with women whose skin are patchy because they haven't been taking care of their faces, and this means the makeup doesn't stay on as well as it would have.
"And having your makeup run and turn splotchy will ruin a girl's big day."
That's why Syahira insists on the importance of a lifestyle and attitude change -- what she terms investing in yourself -- for a woman who wants to look good on a certain occasion. She works with clients three or even six months in advance of that important date, looking at all the angles in what would make the woman the most envied person in the room.
These include weight management, hair and skin care, clothes and the all-important makeup. "On a girl's wedding day, she usually wants to look her best -- a radiant complexion, great hair, beautiful wedding attire and accessories.
"Sometimes this means a little weight loss, so I start with a discussion on exactly what the client wants, and how to go about achieving it."
Syahira says she has no qualms about playing the devil's advocate and telling the client what she should hear instead of what she wants to. If the client wants to lose some pounds, maybe to get to her ideal weight, the discussion will be about diet and exercise combined, not a quick-fix starvation regiment just to fit into that dress.
"We're looking at a whole lifestyle change," says Syahira, who works with an international lifestyle management programme which has proven successful. Saying that she's hands-on with clients to the point of performing exercises with them, Syahira admits that things get tough if a person doesn't have the commitment to change. "After the first few sessions, I keep tabs on my clients to see how they are progressing towards their goals.
"Some revert to bad habits or quit exercising but some stay with the programme. It all depends on willpower," says Syahira, herself trying to manage her weight after putting on the pounds during her two pregnancies. Currently at a comfortable 58kg, Syahira says she was one of those idealists who thought weight would never be an issue since she had always been slim. "I ballooned during my pregnancies, and it was a shock. But at least I know how hard it is work on losing those extra pounds, and I can advise my clients accordingly."
In her wedding package, Syahira says although she doesn't deal with the wedding attire or hairdressing herself, she has a vested interest in the matters as they become a backdrop to the most important part of her work -- a woman's face.
The advocate of colours -- she professes a love of playing with her makeup palette -- says some women don't realise the importance of looking good, especially during events like their wedding, and leave makeup decisions to others or have facials one day before the event, risking breakouts or allergic reactions. "For some people, the size of the wedding is the bigger concern. But you have to remember, the pictures of your wedding will be kept for a long time, maybe even handed down for generations, so it pays to look good."
She says an essential part of the makeup process is the trial, where she will work with the client on the desired look. "Some clients want the "natural look" and don't realise that it's not about just slapping on one layer of powder. Sometimes the natural look -- which is you but just better -- takes longer to achieve."
Clients can also be fixated on a certain look they want to emulate, even though it might not be suitable. "They point to a photograph in a magazine and say they want this and that. But colours look different on different skintones, and I don't want my clients to look like clowns on their important day."
Some people not used to wearing makeup can also be uncomfortable at the time and effort spent on their faces -- until she shows them the results, that is. "I take before and after pictures, so the client can see for themselves the radiance they can achieve for that special day.
"And if they follow the programme and reach their ideal weight, and then continue to manage their lifestyle in a healthier way, the radiance can go on beyond just the wedding day.
"A beautiful life will create a beautiful person, from the inside out, and that lasts longer than just one day."

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Loving yourself is no easy feat


As appeared in the "Ear to the ground" column

The Sun Feb 6, 2001

Did you watch the episode of Ally McBeal three weeks back? It was the one where Ally had been going out with a new guy when Billy – Ally’s ex, for all you non-couch potatoes out there – told her he still loved her, and then kissed her. That was not all, though, for when they had to see a shrink together, Billy said something that, truthfully, none of us really wants to hear. He said Ally would never be happy with herself and he had left her because love was wasted on her.
I thought that was really sad. Depressing, as well, because it hit very close to home. Have you ever heard of a saying equivalent to "The things you hate in others are actually those you hate in yourself"? I believe this is true, and since I’m so intolerant with the failings of others, I feel it’s only a manifestation of all the angst about myself.
It’s not about physical failings, since I’ve never seriously considered having breast implants or injecting collagen in my lips for a sexy pout (like Ally), though I did suffer the embarrassment of railroad tracks for nearly two years I order to straighten my teeth. I have wished I was taller, preferably a six-foot goddess, voluptuous and classically beautiful, but I have practically resigned myself to being short, petite and flat as a board.
No, this is more a question of personality and character. Basically, I hate myself for not being the person that I think I should be, in terms of religion and culture. That affects everything else, including relationships and work.
Think about it. Who in their right mind would not like a soft-spoken, well-mannered little miss instead of the Malay equivalent of Shakespeare’s shrew, Katerina Stratford? Never mind if I have certain talents or charms (or people say) that might make me likeable. I think if people get down to knowing the real me, they would be appalled at what they find. And that thought just makes me more angry at myself and mean and impatient to others. The vicious cycle goes on.
A friend once asked me if it wasn’t enough that someone cares for me? Would it not be enough to stop me from destroying my life with all my bad habits? Sad as it is, care and love would, indeed, be wasted on me right now because what life and happiness actually boil down to is all this "loving thyself" thing. No one would ever be happy if all he thinks he’s striving for in life are dependent on factors which are beyond his control.
I’ve always put stipulations on my happiness and these may sound familiar to you as well; "I would be happier at work when I get a car/computer/more money"; "I would be fulfilled and happy when I get a boyfriend/husband"; or "If only my family were more supportive, I would not have this 'L' on my forehead."
No, it does not work like that because being happy is dependent on two things: being happy with who you are and having the strength to change whatever you do not like in order to make that happen.
And yes, people have tried to drum that into my thick skull. But learning something – even about yourself – is one thing, putting it into practice is absolutely something else which does not follow automatically. Try as I might to change in the blink of an eye or to do this just by singing along to Whitney Houston’s Greatest Love of All, it’s not going to be easy.
It took me almost 26 years and a television comedy series to realise insecurities about myself have held me down. Who knows how long it is going to take to change a particular mindset?
In the meantime, though, I’ll be keeping an eye on Ally to see how she copes. Hey, she may just be a made-up character, but the people behind the storyline really know what they are talking about.
At the end of Ally’s – and my own – revelation hour, she vowed that she would someday love herself enough to be happy.
You know what? So did I.

Little Devil's note, March 5, 2009: Eight years on, and she's still learning to cope with life, the universe and everything.